Isahluko 23

Uma kuphuma izwi Lami, amehlo Ami akhipha umlilo, ngibheke umhlaba wonke, ngiqaphele umhlaba jikelele. Bonke abantu bakhuleka Kimi, babhekise amehlo abo Kimi, bekhulekela ukuba ngimise intukuthelo Yami futhi befunga ukuba abasoze baphinde bangihlubuke. Lesi akusona isikhathi esedlule; sekungesamanje. Ubani ongajikisa intando Yami? Ngempela hhayi ngomkhuleko osezinhliziyweni zabantu noma amazwi aphuma emilonyeni yabo. Ubani okwazile ukusinda kuze kube yimanje, uma kungeMina? Ubani osindayo ngaphandle kwamazwi omlomo Wami? Ubani ongaqambi manga ngaphansi kweso Lami eliqaphile? Njengoba ngenza umsebenzi Wami omusha emhlabeni jikelele, ubani oke waphunyuka kuwo? Kungabe izintaba ziyakwazi ukuyigwema ngenxa yobude bazo? Kungabe ukuthi amanzi, ngobukhulu nobubanzi bawo anakho ukuwuphebeza? Ebuhlungwini Bami, angikaze nje ngidedele noma yisiphi isidalwa, ngakho akukaze kube ngisho namunye umuntu, noma isidalwa esahluleka ukubamba izandla Zami. Namuhla igama Lami elingcwele liphakanyisiwe kubantu bonke futhi amazwi okubhikisha ayavela ephikisana Nami kubantu bonke, nezindaba zasendulo ngokuba semhlabeni Kwami zandile kubantu. Angibabekezeleli abantu abehlulela ngegama Lami futhi angikubekezeleli nokuhlukanisa kwabo umzimba Wami, ngibuye futhi ngingavumeli ukuba bangithuke. Ngenxa yokuthi akangazanga ngokugcwele, umuntu uselokhu engiphika futhi engikhohlisa, ehluleka ukubabaza uMoya Wami noma ukwenza amazwi Ami igugu lakhe. Ngesenzo sakhe ngasinye, nangendlela aziphethe ngayo Kimi, ngimunikeza “umklomelo” omfanele umuntu. Manje, abantu bonke basebenzisa amehlo ukubuka nokulinganisa “umklomelo” wabo kanti akekho namunye wabo oke wenza noma yiwuphi umsebenzi wokuzinikela. Abantu abazimisele ukuzinikeza ngokuphelele, kodwa bajabulela izipho ezingatholwa kungastshenziwe. Nakuba uPetru azingcwelisa ngokwakhe phambi Kwami, bekungekhona ukuthola umklomelo wangomuso kodwa bekungenxa yolwazi lwanamuhla. Isintu asikaze sixhumane ngokweqiniso Nami, kodwa isikhathi nesikhathi bake babhekane Nami ngendlela egcizelela ukubukeka kwangaphandle, becabanga ukuthi ngaphandle kokusebenza ngamandla bazokwamukelwa Yimi. Ngibukisise ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yomuntu, ngakho ngithole emagumbini ayo angaphakathi impela “imayini yengcebo enkulu” into leyo ngisho umuntu engakayiqapheli kodwa esengiyithole kabusha. Manje, uma nje sebebone “ubufakazi obuthintekayo” yilapho abantu beyeka khona ukulalisa izinkophe bazehlise, belule izandla bevuma ububi babo. Phakathi kwabantu, kukhona okuningi okusha okungilindile ukuba “ngikusiphule” ukuze kuthokozelwe ngabantu bonke. Ngingemise umsebenzi wami ngenxa yokusilelwa komuntu, ngiyamthena ngokwecebo Lami lasekuqaleni. Umuntu ufana nesihlahla sesithelo: Ngaphandle kokusinquma nokusithena, sizohluleka ukuthela izithelo, ekugcineni kuzoba namagatsha abunile namaqabunga awile, kungekho sithelo esiwela phansi.

Njengoba ngihlobisa ‘igumbi langaphakathi’ lombuso Wami usuku nosuku, akekho oke waziphonsa ‘egumbini Lami lokusebenza’ ukuphazamisa umsebenzi Wami. Bonke abantu benza konke okusemandleni ukusebenzisana Nami, besaba ngokujulile “ukuxoshwa” “nokulahlekelwa izikhundla zabo” baze bafike kwangqingetshe ezimpilweni zabo lapho bengawela khona “ogwadule” lukaSathane. Ngenxa yokwesaba komuntu, ngimduduza nsuku zonke, ngimgqugquzele ukuba nothando nsuku zonke, ngaphezu kwalokho ngamnikeza imiyalelo phakathi nempilo yakhe yansuku zonke. Kusengathi abantu bayizinsana ezisanda kuzalwa bonke; ngaphandle kokuba zinceliswe ubisi zizosuka zonke lapha emhlabeni, zingaphinde zibonwe. Phakathi kokunxusa kwabantu, ngifika emhlabeni wabantu bese, ngaso leso sikhathi, abantu baphile ezweni lokukhanya, elingasavalelwanga phakathi “egumbini” lapho bekhala khona bebhekise imithandazo ezulwini. Uma nje bengibona, abantu baphikelela ukukhononda ngezikhalazo abazigcine ezinhliziyweni zabo, bevule imilomo yabo Kimina becela ukudla ukuba kufakwe kuyona. Kodwa ngemuva kwalokho, uvalo selwehlile sebezibambile, abasaceli lutho Kimi, kodwa balala kuse, noma baphike ubukhona Bami, bazinakela izindaba zabo. “Ekuyekeni” komuntu kuyacaca ukuthi abantu, abanayo “imizwa” basebenzisa “ubulungiswa obungakhethi zinhlangothi” Kimi. Ngakho-ke, ukubona umuntu kulesi simo sakhe esingesihle, ngisuka buthule ngingephinde ngibuye masinya futhi ekunxuseni kwakhe kweqiniso. Engazi njalo, izinkinga zomuntu zikhula nsuku zonke, futhi, phakathi kokusebenza kwakhe, uma nje ethola ngobukhona Bami, uyenqaba “ukuphikiswa” angigxavule ngomphetho wezingubo angifake endlini yakhe njengesivakashi. Kodwa, noma angaze abeke ukudla okuconsisa amathe ukungijabulisa, akakaze angithathe njengomunye wabo, kunalokho ungiphathisa okwesivakashi ukuze athole okuncane okuwusizo okuvela Kimina. Manje, kulesi sikhathi umuntu wethula ngendluzula isimo sakhe sokuzisola phambi Kwami, ethemba ukuthola “isigxivizo” Sami njengomuntu odinga imalimboleko yebhizinisi lakhe, ungibamba ngamandla akhe onke. Kuleso senzo sakhe sobubele nomnyakazo, ngithola amazwibela enhloso yomuntu asheshe aphele: sengathi, ngokombono wakhe, angikwazi ukufunda incazelo efihlwe ebusweni bomuntu noma ngemuva kwamazwi akhe, noma ukubheka ngijule enhliziyweni yomuntu. Manje umuntu uthululela Kimi ngokungethemba, olunye nolunye ulwazi kunoma yikuphi ukuhlangana ake aba nakho, ngaphandle kokwenza iphutha noma ukushiya okunye ngaphandle, emva kwalokho abeke izidingo zakhe Kimina. Ngiyazizonda futhi ngiyazenyanya zonke izenzo zomuntu. Phakathi kwabantu, akekho namunye oke wenza umsebenzi engiwuthandayo, sengathi umuntu udala ukungezwani Nami ngenhloso, nokuvusa ukuthukuthela Kwami: Bonke bamasha beya phambili nasemuva phambi Kwami, benza intando yabo phambi kwamehlo Ami. Akekho namunye phakathi kwesintu ongiphilelayo, ngokunjalo ubukhona besizwe sonke sabantu abunalusizo futhi akusho lutho, umuntu uhlala nje esikhaleni. Noma kunjalo, isintu sisenqaba ukuphaphama, kodwa siyaqhubeka nokungivukela, siqhubeka ngeze laso.

Kuzo zonke izilingo abadlule kuzo, abantu abakaze bangijabulise. Ngenxa yesono sabo esinonya, umuntu akalindi ukunikeza ubufakazi egameni Lami; kunalokho, “ugijimela kwenye indawo” elokhu ebheke ukwesekwa Yimi. Inhliziyo yomuntu ayibuyeli Kimi ngokuphelele, ngakho uSathane umthela ngodoti aze abole ngezilonda umzimba wakhe wembozwe ukungcola. Kodwa umuntu akakaboni ukuthi ubuso bakhe bunyanyeka kanjani: Sonke lesi sikhathi ubedumisa uSathane ngingaboni. Ngalesi sizathu, ngolaka ngimphonsa emgodini ongenamkhawulo umuntu, ngenza njalo ukuze angaze akwazi ukuzikhulula. Noma kunjalo, phakathi kokulila kwakhe komunyu, umuntu usenqaba ukuguqula umqondo wakhe, uzimisele ukungiphikisa kuze kube sekugcineni, ethemba futhi ezimisele ukuvusa ulaka Lwami. Ngalokho akwezile, ngimphathisa okwesoni ayiso ngimnqabela imfudumalo yokugonwa Yimi. Ukusuka ekuqaleni, izingelosi zangisebenzela, zangilalela ngaphandle kokuguqula noma ukumisa izenzo ezithile, kodwa umuntu uselokhu enza okuphikisana nalokho, sengathi akabuyi Kimi, kodwa uzalwe nguSathane. Izingelosi ezindaweni zazo ezahlukene zonke zinginikeza ukuzinikela okukhulu; azidukiswa amandla kaSathane, zigcwalisa kuphela umsebenzi wazo. Zinceliswe zondliwa izingelosi, izihlwele zamadodana Ami nabantu Bami bonke bakhula kahle baqina baba nempilo, akekho phakathi kwabo obuthakathaka nongenamandla. Lesi senzo sami, siyisimangaliso Sami. Njengoba ithala lezinhlamvu zivulelwa emva kwezinye kumisa umbuso Wami, izingelosi, ziya emculweni oshayelwa izinsimbi zomculo zisondela phambi kwenkundla Yami zizonikeza ukuba ngihlole ngoba izinhliziyo zazo zimsulwa azikhonzi zithixo kanti azikunqabi ukuhlola Kwami.

Ekuvunguzeni kweziphepho, amazulu ehla ngokuphazima kweso, ancisha abantu umoya ukuze bangakwazi ukungibiza ngendlela abathanda ngayo. Ngaphandle kokuqaphela, bonke abantu sebewile. Izihlahla ziya phambili nasemuva emoyeni, isikhathi nesikhathi amagatsha ayanqunywa kanti amaqabunga abunile apheshulwa ngumoya. Umhlaba uzizwa ufiphele uchithakele ngokuphazima kweso, abantu bayazinkonkoshela, belungisela inhlekelele yasekwindla ukuthi ishaye imizimba yabo nanoma nini. Izinyoni emagqumeni zindiza la nale, sengathi zikhalela umunyu wazo komunye, emigedeni yasezintabeni, izingonyama ziyabhonga, zithusa abantu ngomsindo, zishubisa umnkantsha zimisa izinwele, njengophawu olubi oluqwashisa abantu ngokuphela kwabo okuseduze. Ngingazimisele ukulinda injabulo Yami yokubachitha, bonke abantu bashaya umthandazo buthule “iNkosi yaMakhosi” isezulwini. Kodwa isiphepho singanqandwa kanjani ngumsindo wamanzi ageleza emthonjeni? Singanqandwa kanjani ngomsindo wokukhuleka nokunxusa kwabantu? Ulaka enhliziyweni lunganqandwa kanjani ngenxa yokwesaba komuntu? Umuntu uya phambili nasemuva emoyeni; ugijima lapha nalaphaya ezifihlela imvula; kanti ngaphansi kolaka Lwami, abantu bayaqhaqhazela bethuthumela, besaba kakhulu ukuthi ngizotshala isandla Sami emizimbeni yabo sengathi ngingumlomo wesibhamu ohlala ukhombe esifubeni somuntu, nokuthi futhi uyisitha Sami, kanti futhi ungumngane Wami. Umuntu akaze athole izinhloso Zami ngempela kuye, akaze aqonde imigomo Yami, kanjalo akaqapheli ukuthi uyangona, engaqapheli futhi uyangiphikisa, kodwa ngaphandle kwenhloso, ulubonile nothando Lwami. Kunzima ukuba umuntu abone ubuso Bami uma ngithukuthele. Ngifihlwe emafwini amnyama entukuthelo Yami, ngime phakathi kwemiklaklabulo, ngaphezu komhlaba wonke ukuthumela umusa Wami ezansi kumuntu. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu akangazi, angimjezisi ngokuhluleka ukwazi nokuqonda inhloso Yami. Emehlweni abantu ngiveza ulaka Lwami isikhathi nesikhathi, ngikhombisa ukumamatheka Kwami isikhathi nesikhathi, kodwa noma engibona umuntu akaze abone isimo Sami sonke, futhi akakawuzwa umsindo wecilongo onjengoju, ngoba undikindiki futhi akanamizwa. Sengathi umfanekiso Wami usenkumbulweni yomuntu kanti isimo Sami sisemcabangweni wakhe. Nakuba kunjalo, akukaze kube khona noyedwa umuntu oke wangibona, kukho konke ukuziphendukela kwemvelo komuntu, ngoba ubuchopho bomuntu abunamsebenzi. Kukho konke abantu “abangihlinze” ngakho, isayensi yomuntu eyasendulo, ukuze kube yimanje “ukucwaninga kwakhe kwezeSayensi” akuvezanga “miphumela enobufakazi obuqanda ikhanda.” Ngakho, “isihloko somfanekiso Wami” selokhu saba ngesingenalutho kungekho muntu ongasigcwalisa, akekho “ongawisa irekhodi lomhlaba” ngoba ngisho ukuze umuntu akwazi ukugcina indawo yakhe esikhathini samanje kuyinto yokuziduduza okungafuniselwa phakathi kwamashwa amakhulu.

kuNdasa 23, 1992

Okwedlule: Isahluko 22

Okulandelayo: Isahluko 24

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